Here Be Dragons

On old, and I mean very old, maps, you will see some version of Europe and those sections of Asia and Africa that are contiguous to it, but certainly not those parts of those continents that are farthest from Europe.  No Americas are present.  At the edges, the maps would drift off into an emptiness of the unknown.  Further, the Mediterranean would be considered the center of the world – often centering on Italy, or specifically, Rome.   

I was lucky enough a few years ago to get to see a room in the Vatican that was filled wall to wall with globes and old maps.  You could not enter the room, as it was too crowded with old globes and map cases, but from the doorway, you could get a pretty good look at a number of the maps and globes.  The room sat right off a very large, dramatic hallway that was completely covered in a map painted on the walls and ceiling as if you were standing in Rome looking outward in every direction on the rest of the known world as it existed about 1600 A.D. 

On one of these old maps, in that hazy, empty area on the fringe, was written in a version of old English, “Here be dragons.”   While not overly common, such phrases were used.  Such phrases meant, for all intents and purposes, here is the unknown, and with it, dangers and adventures that lie within the unknown.

If you are the parent of a child with special needs, you have probably figured this out already.  If you are new to the world of special needs parenting, then pay attention because if you are on that map, you are standing in the hazy section, labeled ‘here be dragons’. 

One thing all of us know as a parent of a child with special needs is that there really isn’t a road map or a GPS system to allow us to find our way to the ultimate destination.  You are in a brave new world, with exciting possibilities and many dangers, all of which you have to navigate.  You can go out and read the books, and you can talk to other parents and learn from them, but the truth is, everywhere you go in your journey with your child will be virgin territory, unseen by other men.  No child is alike, and the impact of a specific disability, while somewhat similar in many children, will always be unique to your child and your family.  You have entered, in the words of a far more contemporary author, a ‘Brave New World’. 

So, the question you have to ask yourself, parents, is how do you respond to this undiscovered country?  How do you respond to all the challenges and threats and wonderful things that you will find in your unmapped journey through this strange land?  Will you freeze, or allow yourself to lose hope and collapse?  Or, will you stand up to the challenge and bring yourself and your child through the wilderness?  I hope the latter of these choices will be yours.   

Maybe, you will find yourself, much like me, reading books and watching movies that follow the themes of the great quest.  Everything from the Arthurian legends to the Lord of the Rings trilogy, to the ‘Eaters of the Dead’ (a retelling of Beowulf – you might know the movie as the ‘13^th Warrior’) to the Indiana Jones sagas to many other similar stories.  What do they have in common?  Well, they all are stories about overcoming odds, and persevering through great adversity to reach your goal.  They are important to me in that they help me continue to keep fighting forward.  They are a sort of literary kick in the pants that I sometimes need. 

So, anyway, should you make this second choice, the choice of hope and perseverance, you will be making a choice that gives your family and your child the opportunity to succeed.  Hopefully you will find the route for your family. Keep persevering; no matter how bad things may look, do not allow yourself or your family to quit.  Remember, if you do not give up and keep moving forward, you can weather the storms and challenges along the way.  You see, those who freeze and collapse have no chance of success.  On the other hand, while the road can be hard, those who keep moving and stand up to the challenges will always have a path into the future.  And with that path comes the possibility of success for you and your child.