I had a boss a few years ago (one of the smartest persons I think I have ever had the privilege to know) who used to tell all of us that in a large part of our lives and careers, we would have to deal with change. A small percentage of that change we could control, but there would be much of it we could not. Part of making our jobs and our lives easier was learning how positively influence those things we could change, while learning to accept and adapt to those things we could not.
How very hard that was for me then to accept and adapt to changes that I could not control…. I would waste time fussing about things that I could do nothing about. Time that I could have used working to improve the things I could change. I think most of us do that. I still do at times, to be honest. But I can also say that I learned a great deal from that person, and one of them was how to let go of many of the things I cannot control and not waste precious time and energy that I could be devoting to something useful. I find myself looking at things now and asking myself if I can do anything about a particular change that may arise (positive or negative) and deciding if it is something that I can impact or not. If not, I try and let it go. While I do have a tendency to be wound up a little, I am nowhere near as bad as I used to be.
So what does this have to do with anything? Simple, as parents you are all in the countdown to the RETURN TO SCHOOL! Every school year brings on a raft of changes. From new teachers to new students to different bus schedules to new schools, there are many, many things that will change inside the basic school routine. This can be stressful for any family with school age children. Even more so for families with children with special needs.
So, I ask you – will you waste your precious time and energy raging against the wind, trying to force a change on an issue that is out of your control, and often out of the control of those in the schools that you work with? Or will you try to see the change for what it is and see where you can make a difference and use your precious resources there?
I want to ask all of you, as the school year gets ready to start, to take a deep breath and look at those changes that are coming for you and your child and sort through them before responding. Figure out what is good, what is problematic, what is changeable, and what isn’t. If you are not sure, ask. But once you know, take the time to evaluate the new world and determine how to move forward. Think first, and then act. Help foster change where it is possible instead of dashing yourself to shreds on a seawall.
Give this a try. You may find that you are more able to take a breath, help your child, and build a relationship that is positive with your school. And maybe keep your hair from falling out as well.
