Continuity

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

-          Dylan Thomas

The Welsh poet Dylan Thomas wrote the villanelle ‘Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night’ about the impending death of his father, encouraging his father to fight against death to the end.  The poem seems to have been more about Thomas’ own sense of impending loss and his discomfort with death than anything else.  It is a wonderful poem, an expression of sadness and grief, and one of those events that all of us will someday pass through. 

I am not sure I agree with all of what Thomas is saying, but I do understand his feelings, as the topic is close to my mind these days.

You see, we had to make an early, fast trip to Virginia to see my father, as he has had a stroke.  This wasn’t the first or the second, or even the third, and they are starting to have an impact on him.  Much like a thief in the night, they are starting to steal pieces of the man that I have known for 49 years as my father.   I think we all see that this is the beginning of a decline.  How steep the slope is, none of us really know.  As a doctor said, it could be 10 days or 10 years.  There is no way to know this path, but we all understand the destination.  What is important is that he is happy, and he knows how his family feels about him. 

Change happens.  So how do you deal with that change?  It is interesting to watch.  I can say that even in these kinds of circumstances I continue to find reasons to be proud of our son, Ian.  While he will always be my child, I continue to see his growth as a person.  Ian knows what is going on with his grandfather.  You could see that he could see on his face when we got to the hospital room that he understands the seriousness of the situation.  Ian knows.  While we were there, I tried to split time helping my mother with issues around their house and spending time with my father.  Ian, however, spent most of the time – hours and hours in fact - sitting with his grandfather, holding his hand, and just being with him.  That was important to my father, to my mother, to Ian, to my wife, and to me.  That simple act of time and patience mattered.  It gave my father something he wants – that of contact with his family.

This game will play itself out in its own time.  We will accept what comes.  But, in all the many ways I am proud of my son, whether it be how hard he works, or his grades or whatever, I am proudest that I am able to see a man who truly cares for others, and wants to help them.  At his core, he is a good person.  That is one of those things that I was brought up with.  The importance of being a good person above all else was emphasized to me as I grew up.  I am proud of him, and I know that my father sees this, and is proud of his grandson as well.  That means so much.  So very, very much….