Life is full of choices. Every day we make new ones. We cannot avoid them. To paraphrase the band Rush, even when you
choose not to choose, you still have made a choice. That is, simply, life. Choices are, in many ways, what drove the music of the ancient
spheres that controlled the world (as was once believed). For those of us whose families reside in the
sphere that houses the world of special needs, all too often those choices seem
to be Hobbesian in nature. How many times have you been through that situation
where no matter what choice is available, it seems to be fraught with danger
and risk for you, for your family, and for your child? It does happen way too often for many of us.
There have been many times in the life of my
family – particularly when our son was little - that we have felt like a Minoan,
about to be cast into the labyrinth underneath the palace, left in the dark to
face the Minotaur with no way out. So
what do you do? The bottom line is you
just make the best choice you can, with the facts you have on hand, keep
evaluating, and hoping the monster doesn’t show up and bite you in the
backside.
What about when you make a mistake? And in time, you will make a mistake. Well, if you have done your research, used
the facts at hand, and made the best decision you can, well then you can move
forward. Will you kick yourself a bit? Yes.
But, you can still live with yourself because you made the best decision
you could with the information you had at the time you made the decision.
Then, of course, you start that decision
making process all over again, and hope you will get it right the next
time. One of the worst things you can
do in all of this is to freeze up. Don’t
suddenly become so scared or timid that you don’t want to make decisions. Indecision can often be your worst enemy,
especially when you know something needs to happen, or change needs to
occur. Remember – by not making a choice
you are, in reality, making a choice not to choose.
It does sound crazy, this process of making
choices. Truth be told, it is. Often I feel like Sisyphus, condemned to pushing
that boulder up the hill, only to watch it roll back down and have to start all
over again through all eternity. But,
over time, you will begin to see the cumulative benefits of those choices. The benefits to your family and your child
accrue. Over time, that will make a
difference. You too will learn and
grow. It is funny how your priorities
will change with time and experience.
There was a time when my most important driver was making money. That was a long time ago. Now I see so many other things that are more
important. Don’t get me wrong, income is
important, but does that trump the needs of the family or of the spouse or of
the child? Is it necessary to have all
the money in the world, or to be able to do things with my family? Once again, all are choices that one has to
make when evaluating every situation.
How you prioritize is up to you.
Just remember to be willing to keep evaluating every situation and make
the best choices you can.
