In the Land of Teachers

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.    - Robert Frost

The hardest issues I have to work with are those that involve school-parent conflicts.  Too often, these turn out to be driven by misunderstanding, strong emotions, poor communications, and the interaction between different cultures – that of the educational world, and that of the world of special needs families. 

There are times when the disagreements are based on valid programmatic or other concerns.  Those conflicts, if well managed by both sides, can often be beneficial in that they provide a healthy discourse of ideas and concerns, and both sides are open to considering and evaluating the ideas of all parties.  In these cases, a positive result can and often does come out of the disagreement and the parties involved can continue to work together. 

Unfortunately, too often, the optimal process does not happen.  Something short circuits this process, and things become personal, feelings get hurt, and sometimes grudges get started, and the problem-solving process falls apart.  Obviously, this is not good.  When I have run into these situations, usually no party is completely blameless.  One side may be more blameless than the other, but usually, there are enough issues and missed opportunities to spread around, some innocuous and some not. 

Maybe if we take a quick look at both sides, some of you who are in these situations may understand your opposite a little better, and in doing so, may help to improve or prevent some of these conflicts…. So, let’s start by taking a look at the land of teachers and what parents need to understand about their world.

First and foremost, teachers do not get into teaching because they want to get rich.  Almost every teacher I know of has gone into education because they truly enjoy working with children.  And those that go into special education seem to have an additional calling to try and help those who often have the greatest needs.  That should be something that all parents take to heart and should remember.  The kids are NOT widgets on an assembly line, but important individuals that a teacher is trying to figure out how to best educate.

Second, teachers, no matter how good and no matter how caring, are constrained by the nature of education in what they can do.  Remember, teachers are there to educate your child.  Much of what they can and cannot do is dictated by federal law, state statute, state policy, and local policies and procedures.  These constraints are there for many reasons – to ensure consistency, to protect your child, to protect the teacher, to make sure your child is getting an appropriate education, etc.  But, schools cannot be everything.  They are not health care facilities or babysitting services or substitute parents.  They exist to do what they can to educate your child.  Teachers have to live in this world, and no matter how good a teacher is, must live by the rules of that world.

Third, teachers get frustrated, too.  Why?  They get frustrated for many reasons.  For many, the workload has grown exponentially, taking time away from the reason they went into teaching – that of working with children.  While funding for education continues to be reduced, paradoxically, regulations, mandates, and reporting requirements have been heaped upon teachers.  Much of this is not coming from your local district professionals, but from state and federal legislation – from many people who really have little to no knowledge of what it actually means to be a teacher.  Often, these mandates, which are meant to help, actually have a negative impact by taking even more time away from direct education, helping to drive frustration

Also, as already noted, children are not widgets.  Each child is unique (note – that is why the ‘I’ in IEP stands for Individualized), and as a result, there is no one size fits all.  Often for children with special needs, if there is more than one disability, problem solving for education is often like peeling an onion.  Every layer you reveal has a surprise, and there is always another layer beneath it.  The result is trying to resolve how to filter through all the different impacting factors of a disability and come up with an appropriate solution to a child’s needs.  I talk to teachers (and am married to one) who brings their work home every night and on weekends, trying to solve how to best reach and help a child with complex issues.  These teachers truly feel for each of these kids and for their families.  Take a look at the burnout rate for staff sometimes.  It takes a toll.  But it is because these people truly care about their students.

Fourth, teachers want children to succeed.  Nothing pleases teachers more than seeing their students succeed.  For those in the special education programs, this is especially true.  They understand how hard these children have to work, and how hard the families have to work.  They want good things for these kids and for these families.  They know how important it is for the long term success of their students. 

So, parents, please think about some of this next time a disagreement starts to arise.  Think about the world that these teachers and educators live in professionally.  It is so easy to let frustration and emotion rule ourselves as parents when something involves our children and education.  Take an extra breath.  Think twice.  It is ok to disagree and to have differing ideas.  Have that discussion.  Talk it through, work together, collaborate, and be open to ideas (on both sides).  But be careful you don’t let that emotion turn something into a personal, antagonistic dispute.  It is hard, but take care, take a breath, and think about how you want to respond.  Will it help the situation or make it worse?

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
- Aristotle

True Believers and Holy Warriors

I am very troubled by those who believe that they and only they know what is right for everyone else.  I’m even more troubled when those folks try and force their beliefs on others.  Whether it is a TV preacher with bad hair and dimples who wants you to send him all your money, or the Tea Party, or one of the dozens of other groups that think they and only they have all the answers and are unwilling to listen to alternatives, I just don’t trust them.   The world and people in the world are just too complex for a single answer. That only one person or one group has been awarded some special providence to know that answer just isn't reality in the complex world we live in.  Now I do NOT believe these folks to evil, or filled with harmful intent, but I do find them to be misguided.  It is easy, however, to fall into the trap of believing that you have the answers. 

In the world of deafness, I keep running into some of what I described above.  It is not pervasive by any means, but there is this undercurrent that keeps raising its head and really needs to stop.  Again, it isn’t in the mainstream, but exists on the fringes, but it has the nasty habit of overflowing the fringe and dropping right on the heads of families that are trying to do the right thing for their child who is deaf or hard of hearing. 

Let me be clear – the vast majority of the people involved in this community are good people who will and do go the extra mile to help families who are trying to make hard decisions.  They will give opinions and thoughts and experiences, without judgment.

So what exactly am I babbling on about?  Well, it is the wonderful communication modality debate.  I’m still amazed that there are still people in this community believe that there is only one way that someone should be allowed to communicate, and if a family makes a different choice, the parents are ‘the devil’.   This is a topic that has a history that you could write books about, and this history heavily impacts some of these beliefs.  On one side, you have the Deaf world, and the centrality of American Sign Language to that very rich culture.  Inside that world exists a segment of people in that world who believe that everyone with hearing loss should use ASL to the exclusion of all else.  On the other side you have people who believe that the only way for people who are deaf to truly integrate and be successful in the world is to be oral.  And in the vast middle are all those who just want to see children to communicate successfully and do what they can to help the child be successful.

In my travels, I still do run across those on the Deaf World side that demand ASL only for everything.  However, these people are few and far between.  I did have one small group at a silent dinner a number of years ago tell me, in all seriousness, that if I wanted to do what was best for my son who is deaf, it would be to give him up to a deaf couple and let them raise him.  Again, they were the exception, not the rule in the deaf community.

On the other side of the coin, however, I’m running into far more of the ‘true believers’ these days.  People who are preaching that cochlear implants and oralism are only real way for children to be successful and those who sign are the ‘failures’ in the world.  Once again, nothing can be further from the truth. 

Let me be clear – cochlear implants are wonderful tools.  When a child is implanted early, the implant takes, and the child receives the appropriate long term therapy and follow up to learn how to use the device and maintain it, they can and do produce wonderful results.  I see many children and adults where the device has been a godsend.  However there are also those children where the implant does not work right, or is rejected, or the child cannot or does not receive the appropriate supports.  There are also many people with hearing loss who simply would not qualify for an implant.  What I am saying here is that cochlear implants are a wonderful tool, but again, not the right choice for every person or child who is deaf or hard of hearing. 

The same is true for the oral approach.  There are successes, and there are also children who will never learn to function in the world using only their speech.  I do not condemn that method, I just think that parents need to be fully aware that there are issues and potential pitfalls, and the possibility that this approach will not be successful for a child and parents need to understand this as well.

The bottom line is that whether you choose to sign, or choose to be oral, or get or do not get a cochlear implant, there is no one truly right decision, and whatever decision a family chooses, there will be pitfalls and problems, successes and failures.  Whatever methodology a family chooses, it will be hard work.

Finally, when making decisions, don’t let the true believers and the holy warriors push you or bully you into making a decision that may not be right for your child.  I’ve seen people tell families that their child will never be accepted anywhere but the Deaf World, so they need to only sign,  I see cochlear implant centers telling families that they are forbidden to ever sign, and I see people on the oral-verbal side tell families that if their children don’t talk, they are condemning them to a second class life.    Parents, you have to decide.  Eventually your child will decide for him- or herself.  There is no truly right answer, no matter what anyone tells you.  The only answer that is right is what actually works for that child.  I see adults and children all the time that are happy, successful people who use a mix – to varying degrees - of fluent sign language, spoken word, and cochlear implants. 

Parents, be open to all options.  Make choices based on your child and his or her needs.  Don’t be guilted or pushed into a choice.  Do what you think is right for your child.  And the truth is, there is no reason you cannot mix and match the options available to get the best out of your child in all areas of communication.  So be true to what you see as your child’s needs and go with it. 

As both a parent and a professional, I know I will support YOUR decision, and others should as well.

Songlines

The aboriginal peoples of Australia believe that there are tracks across Australia that were created by the creators during a time known as the Dreaming. During the Dreaming, these creators sung the world and all the things in it into existence.  If you know the words of the songs and their sequence, today you can still follow these tracks.  Songlines are, for all intents and purposes, a musical map that can help you navigate accurately for great distances. 

We all have our own songlines.  Where we are going, how we are getting there, and how we navigate our lives are the tracks of those songlines.  Sometimes they operate independently, sometimes they run parallel with someone else’s, sometimes they intersect, and sometimes you forget the words to your songline and have to try and remember them again.  In many ways, they can be maps of our lives.

This past month, my songline and those of my family have started on a new verse.  This is one that I have suspected was coming for a long time, and one that none of us was really looking forward to.  You see, my father had his 6^th stroke.  Amazingly, he was able to recover pretty well from the first 5.  This one, however, had a much more involved impact on him, both physically and intellectually.  He is now home, but is not fully independent.  He probably won’t ever drive a car again, and will need supervision at home.  That said, in many ways, he is still the same man that he was.  Just some parts of who he was just aren’t there anymore.  He is now using a walker or a wheelchair, and some of those higher-order thinking skills aren’t there.  But in many ways, he still is who he was.  The rest of us, however, are in transition.

My parents have been together since my father was 17 and my mother was 15.  They are in their mid-70s now.  While they have been equals in their relationship, dad was often the final arbiter.  That has now changed.  Mom is now in charge, and is, in many ways, his chief caretaker. 

My younger sister lives close to my parents.  She now has seen her life change as well.  She has had to step up and commit time to overseeing what is going on with our parents.  This is a new role for her, and one she is not particularly comfortable with. 

I find myself more and more in the parent role in the family.  Providing guidance and being a sounding board for my mother as she moves through this.  Also I find myself providing a place for my sister to vent her fears and frustration, as she really has not had much experience with the world of disability and leaned heavily on my father throughout her life.   

Looking at this situation, for my mother and sister, in many ways it is like when you first find out your child has a disability, except now it is not your child, but a parent or spouse.  For me, I’m discovering that while I can be empathetic to what they are thinking and feeling, I am also discovering how the years of dealing with all the issues that arise from raising a child with a disability have made me incredibly pragmatic.  How quickly both my wife and I moved into the mode that got us through various crises early in our son’s life.  What is going on?  What are the details?  What can we fix?  What can we ameliorate?  What cannot be changed?  What do we need to do in the future?  What will that near future look like?  How can we plan and prep for issues and concerns? 

We’ve been there many times in the past, and now we’re trying to help my mother and sister develop some of this perspective.  Not letting the highs be too high or the lows too low.    Funny, here we go again, with the recalling of my favorite poem, the one by Rudyard Kipling, titled, “If”.  Read it sometime if you have a chance because in many ways it describes how to survive in the special needs world as a parent.  And as I’m now discovering, it also gives a game plan for surviving in a world when one of your parents start falling victim to the ravages of age, health, and time.

So where is my songline leading now?  I’m not sure.  I’m not sure if I really know the words to this song for myself, or if I can help my sister, my mother, and my father find their words in this new world and this new map they are trying to learn how to follow.   We’ll only know by trying and seeing where the song takes us on this map.  One thing I do know is that our son seems to understand what words his songline is singing.  He offered to go up to Virginia and help.  He said he didn’t know what he could do, or how he could help, but if he was needed, he would go.  That is heartening to me.  Maybe at least our songlines went to the right places when trying to teach him.  That gives me hope that maybe I can find the correct words for my map for the future.

Response to Intervention (RtI) – What Parents Need to Know

Over the last year or so, as a parent, you have probably heart the acronym RtI, or Response to Intervention (sometimes called Response to Instruction).  RtI is a practice in education that has the potential to have a powerful impact on student achievement in the educational setting.  The long and short of RtI is that it is a practice that attempts to look at the individual educational needs of a child and develop a plan to use the techniques and methodologies that are believed to be the most appropriate to help that child learn effectively. 

RtI also uses a multi-level approach to this practice.  If necessary, RtI will escalate to a more intensive level of intervention to help the child educationally.  Throughout this process, the school is gathering information and evidence to determine if the current interventions are working, and to evaluate if changes should be made to the methods of instruction that are being used.

Finally, RtI is not limited to just students with special needs.  It is a practice that is school-wide, and impacts every child.  The bottom line is that RtI is really asking the question, “How can we best teach this child?” and trying to provide the answer.  This is a very good thing, and something that, as a parent, you should embrace with all your heart because it will help your child in the educational setting.

Now, when it comes to children with special needs, there is also something you need to understand.  RtI does NOT supersede IDEA.  If you or someone involved with your child believes your child has a disability, and that concern is brought to the attention of the school district, then all the same timelines and requirements for evaluations to determine if special education services are required for the child must be met.  RtI is not a substitute for an IDEA evaluation. 

RtI and IDEA can and should work hand-in-hand, with RtI being a part of the IDEA evaluation process.  But it is important to note that evaluation for services under IDEA should NOT wait until an RtI evaluation is completed.  RtI does not replace IDEA or its requirements. 

Here in Florida, you should not run into that problem.  FLDOE and the district ESE departments understand these issues and are aware of them.  DOE and the districts have done their work to clarify this and make sure both processes are working they way they should.  But it is important that you as a parent also understand how these 2 very important legs in the educational process link and work together for your child.

Understanding Atticus Finch

      They're certainly entitled to think that, and they're entitled to full respect for their opinions...  

      but before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself.  The one thing that doesn't

      abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. 

      ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, Chapter 11, spoken by the character Atticus

 

I read To Kill a Mockingbird for the first time in the 7^th grade.  At the time, I really did not see the point.  Over the years, I’ve read that book several more times, and I can honestly say that I understand Atticus Finch.  The message of doing what is right, no matter the consequences, is one that I have tried to absorb and live by.  I’ve tried to make the right choices, even when those choices are not easy or popular.  Often it is a hard road, and one that is not always beneficial to myself.  But, in the morning, when I get out of bed, I can look at myself in the mirror. 

So many times it seems that the right decision is the hard decision and the wrong decision winds up being the easy decision.  How wonderful it would be if the right decision would always be the easy decision!  Unfortunately, too many times in life, it doesn’t work out that way.  Luckily for me, my father, who was a Marine who became an elementary school principal, was big on me learning several things.  One of those things was that a person is only is as good as their word.  If your word is no good, then you aren’t trustworthy.  Another thing was that no matter what happened, you needed to be honest.  Once again, what you say matters.  A third element was that no matter what you do, you do it to the best of your ability.  A fourth element was that you were responsible for your actions, and you wanted your actions to be honorable.  Finally, it didn’t matter what others were doing, you had to make decisions based what you believed to be right.  I know, it sounds somewhat old-school, but you know what?   Those lessons have served me well through the years. 

You see, Atticus lives by similar beliefs.  He does what is right because it is right, and not for any other reason.  He is the epitome of the good and honorable man.  He may not be filthy rich, and may never be famous, but more importantly, he is a good an honorable man.  And, he imparts these same virtues to his children.  He passes those lessons on to his offspring so that they, too, can live honest, honorable lives.  Maybe there is a reason I keep coming back to that book. 

As a parent, I’ve tried to pass these values on to our son.  I think he gets them.  He is honest, he thinks about how is actions impacts others, he tries to keep his word.  I’m happy with what I’m seeing.  He is still young.  And yes, 19 is still young.  But I think I see the makings of someone that you would call a ‘good man’.  At the bottom line, that is all I can ask of him.  In the long run, that will help him make his way in the world and help him be able to look at himself in the mirror.

What about you?  Are you teaching your children these kinds of lessons?  Are you doing what you can to teach your child to be a ‘good man’ or ‘good woman’ in the future?  Think about it.  If you are not, maybe you need to think about what it can mean for your child’s future.  Go on, give it a thought.  In the long run, it might really be worth it.

Indoors, when Miss Maudie wanted to say something lengthy she spread her fingers on her knees and settled her bridgework. This she did, and we waited.

“I simply want to tell you that there are some men in this world who were born to do our unpleasant jobs for us. Your father’s one of them.”

“Oh,” said Jem. “Well.”

“Don’t you oh well me, sir,” Miss Maudie replied, recognizing Jem’s fatalistic noises, “you are not old enough to appreciate what I said.”

          ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

The IEP: Follow-up in the New School Year

We are now a few weeks into the new school year, and hopefully your child has settled into the new school year, the new routine, and has gotten acclimated.  Hopefully, too, if your child has an IEP, the school has begun to get the bugs worked out and things in that process are starting to fall into place.  But are you sure?

By now you should have begun evaluating how your child’s IEP is operating at school.  You should be asking yourself:  Is everything working? How well?  If something isn’t working or not working well, then why?  Is that issue serious?  Can it be fixed with just a small tweak, or is it something bigger?  Am I sure the teacher, school, and I all have the same interpretation of that IEP accommodation, modification, or other support?  Have I started communicating with the teacher to make sure we are all on the same page?  Are we all on the same page?

It is a large number of questions.  But they are ones every parent should ask all the time and every parent should be asking them from day one of the school year.  By now, things have settled down a bit and hopefully, you are able to begin getting solid answers to those questions. 

Remember the old adage about the early bird getting the worm.  Well, this is the same principle.  The earlier you solidify those lines of communications with the school and begin problem solving any issues you identify, the better an opportunity your child will have to be as successful as possible academically.  As usual, it is work, and you have to be willing to devote your time to doing this and keep doing it again and again and again.  While your school staff will be asking those questions (or something similar) all the time, you, too, need to be asking them.  Remember, this is your child we are talking about.

‘Normal’ Life Can Still Continue in the Special Needs World

A question that comes up often from parents when I’m doing a workshop is ‘how do I do what I need to do for my child with special needs and still a fairly normal home and family life?  Is it even possible?  The answer is yes, it is possible, and while there are changes in your and your family’s life when you have a child with special needs, it is still possible to have a pretty normal family life.

First, some caveats need to be given.  Every family situation is different and every person is different. This means that there really is no truly ‘normal’ family, but really what works for you and your family.  Try not to compare to the Joneses next door. Understand that when you have a child with a disability, sometimes you have to do more planning and adjust your schedules a bit more and realize that you may have some different limits on what can be done on a given day.  The truth is that no family – not even that ‘perfect’ family down the street really can do everything without give and take in their schedules.

While it takes some planning and thinking on your part, you can still have an ‘adult’ life.  If you went out with your spouse or with friends, you still can.  You just have to plan to make sure that you have appropriate coverage at home.  Family or close friends can be helpful here.  They can often be responsible babysitters who care about you and are willing to go that extra mile to help with a child with a disability.  With family, who knows, they may even keep a child overnight to give you a break.  It is ok to use them for this.  Some parents feel guilty for going out.  You should not.  You need that break.  It will help you relax and possibly be a better parent.  Plan, ask for help.  You have permission – it is ok to do so.  Many of your family or friends would probably jump at the opportunity to help.

With some pre-planning, you can also participate in family activities like vacations. We’ve talked about that previously in other blog articles.  We travel extensively.  It is important to our family, and we know other families with children with disabilities who travel often as well.  Again, it takes planning and sometimes a thick skin, and a willingness to be flexible as you schedule, but there is few reasons or issues that you cannot work around with some planning and thinking through the ‘how’.  Often travel can be eye-opening for everyone in a very good way.

The same is true with other family activities locally. With planning, children and families can go out to eat, participate in activities and events, participate in school activities, you name it.  It is possible.  Don’t write it off or get so wrapped up in all the negatives that you lose sight of the possibilities.  Think through the problems and look for answers and solutions.  Remember not to try and compare your family to others.  Instead, ask yourself if you are doing things that you and your family enjoy doing.  Do those things make you and your family happy?  Are you finding ways to have some time for yourself or for you and your partner?  If you are, then guess what?  You are having a ‘normal’ family life…. 

Parents, Educate Thyself

If you are the parent of a child with special needs who is either in school or will soon be going into school, you have a responsibility to do something that can be tedious and sometimes frustrating.  But if you follow through with this responsibility, you will put yourself into a position where you can truly represent your child and help them be as successful as they can possibly be.    That responsibility is that you must educate yourself.    What I’m talking about is not learning about your child’s disability (which you should have been doing since the minute you found out about it).  What I’m talking about is learning about IDEA and the IEP process. 

Most parents understand the basics about the IEP – that there is a meeting, and that meeting determines services for your child at school and what class they will be in.  Most parents also understand they have some rights and some things are their responsibility, but often, that is about it.  In working with parents, maybe 2 or 3 times every year I will have someone approach me and say that they have never had an IEP meeting.  They know they go to a meeting about their child every year, but they don’t have an IEP meeting, even though their child has a disability.  In questioning them, it turns out that they have been going to IEP meetings, but they honestly did not know that they were in one.  Hearing that can be frustrating from my perspective, because at that point you know the parent is detached from the educational process.  IEP education for parents has, simply become a large part of my job – answering questions, helping parents understand what the process actually is and what can be and cannot be done in IDEA.

One point I want to make clear – you are not educating yourself to play ‘gotcha!’ with the district.  You are educating yourself because it is important to understand as a parent, going into the educational process, what IDEA is, what it requires, what it allows, and what it does not.  IDEA is not a carte blanche to force districts to pay for everything a child needs in his or her life related to the disability.  It is, however, a process that ensures that a child with a disability is getting appropriate services to provide supports that are needed in the educational setting to give the child the opportunity to be successful in school.  How an individual service fits in that process is for the IEP team to decide.  Many may make perfect sense, but sometimes there are those that really do not.  Learn what the criteria are.

Take the time to learn.  Knowing what you need to know before going into an IEP meeting will help you work more effectively with the district through the IEP process.  Knowledge will help you better evaluate the success or failure of the child’s services and to be a more effective participant in the process, and will allow you to better represent your child’s interests.  There are lots of resources available to assist you in educating yourself, including your school district.

I know that time spent with understanding the law can be tedious and boring.  Don’t let that stop you.  Tap into parent organizations or the school district’s resources, or search the internet to help with your understanding of IDEA and the IEP process.  Keep looking for those resources and organizations that can help you.  Study them, learn from them, and ask questions - it is important because the more you know about IDEA and the IEP process and how they work, the more effective you will be for your child in the IEP process.  This, in turn, will help you help your child and can help to build an effective collaboration with the school district.  It is important.

So go out there and study and learn!

Change Happens

I had a boss a few years ago (one of the smartest persons I think I have ever had the privilege to know) who used to tell all of us that in a large part of our lives and careers, we would have to deal with change.  A small percentage of that change we could control, but there would be much of it we could not.  Part of making our jobs and our lives easier was learning how positively influence those things we could change, while learning to accept and adapt to those things we could not. 

How very hard that was for me then to accept and adapt to changes that I could not control….  I would waste time fussing about things that I could do nothing about.  Time that I could have used working to improve the things I could change.  I think most of us do that.  I still do at times, to be honest.  But I can also say that I learned a great deal from that person, and one of them was how to let go of many of the things I cannot control and not waste precious time and energy that I could be devoting to something useful.  I find myself looking at things now and asking myself if I can do anything about a particular change that may arise (positive or negative) and deciding if it is something that I can impact or not.  If not, I try and let it go.  While I do have a tendency to be wound up a little, I am nowhere near as bad as I used to be.

So what does this have to do with anything?  Simple, as parents you are all in the countdown to the RETURN TO SCHOOL!  Every school year brings on a raft of changes.  From new teachers to new students to different bus schedules to new schools, there are many, many things that will change inside the basic school routine.  This can be stressful for any family with school age children.  Even more so for families with children with special needs.

So, I ask you – will you waste your precious time and energy raging against the wind, trying to force a change on an issue that is out of your control, and often out of the control of those in the schools that you work with?  Or will you try to see the change for what it is and see where you can make a difference and use your precious resources there?

I want to ask all of you, as the school year gets ready to start, to take a deep breath and look at those changes that are coming for you and your child and sort through them before responding.  Figure out what is good, what is problematic, what is changeable, and what isn’t.  If you are not sure, ask.  But once you know, take the time to evaluate the new world and determine how to move forward.  Think first, and then act.  Help foster change where it is possible instead of dashing yourself to shreds on a seawall. 

Give this a try.  You may find that you are more able to take a breath, help your child, and build a relationship that is positive with your school.  And maybe keep your hair from falling out as well. 

New Video Resource

OSBD & RMTC has set up a new web resource for parents, teachers, professionals and others interested in parent issues, deafness issues, and/or blindness issues.  This site has informational videos related to all three areas.  As we can produce them, we will add more.  There are several that I know are currently under development for addition to the site.  I think this can be a valuable resource for anyone interested in one or more of these topics.  Take a look!

You can access this site at http://vimeo.com/rmtcosbd/channels or see the link labeled "OSBD & RMTC Videos".